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1994-03-09
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CLASSIC JOKES !
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How many pretty little rich girls does it take to change a light-bulb?
One, to call the electrician.
How many gays does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to call the electrician, the other to mix some drinks.
How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
None, real men aren't afraid of the dark.
How many women's libbers does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change it, three to write about it, four to make
a documentary about it, & another four to apply for a grant.
How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?
I'll let you work it out: plenty to fill out forms & courier
them from one department to another.
Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony?
The one who can carry 2 large coffees & a dozen donuts.
Who is the most popular woman in a nudist colony?
The one who can eat the last two donuts.
Why do seagulls fly upside down over Britain?
Because the poms aren't worth shitting on. (Aussie gits ! - Ed)
Why didn't the Lebanese bride wear any underpants to her wedding?
She wanted to keep the flies off the cake.
Why did the walrus enjoy going to Tupperware parties?
Because he liked tight seals!!
Have you heard about the new italian biotechnology company?
They're called Genitalia.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm a schizophrenic
And so am I.
What's the definition of a computer ?
An accountant with a personality.
What's the difference between a nurse & a jumbo jet?
Not everyone's been in a jumbo jet
What's the difference between Joan Collins & a bowling ball?
You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball
Who's killed more indians than John Wayne
Union Carbide
What has 100 balls & fucks rabbits?
A shotgun
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb.
None; that's a hardware problem.
How many dBase programmers does it take to change a bulb.
Three. One to write the bulb removal routine. One to
write the new bulb insertion routine, & one bulb
administrator to make sure nobody else tries to do the
job at the same time.
How many professors does it take to change a bulb.
Only one, but he will be able to write six learned
articles about the experience.
Why did the pig cross the road ?
To talk to the other officer on the other side. (Good one! - Ed)
How do you know that a Chinese woman has orgasmed
She drops her nail file
What's the difference between brocoli & snot??
Kids don't like the taste of brocoli.....
What's invisible & smells like dog food?
A pensioner's fart......
How do you get a pay rise in a privatised company ?
Sack everyone else.
How do you increase your profit margin even more ?
Sack even more people.
How do you make a privatised company work ?
Sack the bosses.
End!